Toiletspotting at Trainspotting
It was the premiere of the film Trainspotting a few years ago in Auckland NZ. My 6 mates and I had all read about htis fantastic movie so decided to make a big night of it, dress up in matching adidas (fuck knows why?) tracksuits and get very, VERY lagered beforehand. I WANT MORE

Room Mate
This is a tale from my first year at Birmingham University, and thankfully does not involve my good self too much. I WANT MORE

Stag Night
About 15 friends had gathered around me on my last night of freedom to make sure that I made a total twat of myself. I WANT MORE

Camp Beds
I was on holiday with my girlfriend, her little sister and parents in the South of France in August, very hot and cheap for drink. A few days from the end I got totally anhialated and staggered off to bed. I woke up at around 10am to find the family had gone to the supermarket and that also I had pissed the bed. I WANT MORE

Geri Halliwell
I used to work at a large corporation at Wood Lane Shepherds Bush, if you know where I mean, and during my time there I came into contact with many celebrities and their entourage. One of whom was Geri. I WANT MORE

Barman's View
7:00pm: Fairly quiet in the local except for one bastard who's been there all day and wants to tell you his life story over and over, interspersed with comments such as: "I've been drinking all day" or "d'you know how many I've had." I WANT MORE

Shrub
After a particularly vicious night's drinking with a load of mates and a couple of young ladies, the night ended with a trip to the local Indian takeaway. Upon coming out of the place I noticed what I thought was a large bush (It later turned out to be a small shrub!) I WANT MORE

Metro
About one year ago a friend and I were out drinking and after a lot of lager we set about going home. For the two of us to get home we travel on the Metro, (a smaller version of the London tube in Newcastle). I WANT MORE

Barry White
Once there were three Huddersfield University students on an all-day drinking session. On the way home at night, and by now very pissed, one of the students decided he needed an urgent 'Barry White'... I WANT MORE

Kit Kat
A few years ago I used to be into CB radio, that tells you how many years we're talking about. I was a good friend of a girl called "Kit Kat" ... I WANT MORE

Mad Eyes
I had just started at a new employers, a national golf magazine, and on the Friday of the first week everybody went to the pub after work. I WANT MORE

White Carpet
I was at home in Watford when the phone rang. "Ian,its Rob (my uncle from Luton) I'm away for the weekend but I'm having a carpet delivered and fitted, can you come over and let the bloke in and out, I'll leave a key under the mat"? I WANT MORE

No Trousers
A few New Years Eves ago, we had a party at my mates house, to which all of the close mates where invited. As midnight came ever closer, two of my friends were getting very drunk. I WANT MORE

Nuts
About three years ago, myself and a few of my mates went out for a drink (or two) with a group of lads that we'd meet up with once in a while. I WANT MORE

"Submarine Mission"
I am a little embarrassed to admit that the sorry tale I am about to impart was not an isolated incident in my otherwise blemish free past. All things considered, this was a pretty normal Saturday night ... for me. I WANT MORE

Fire Exit
This is a tale of one of the most embarrasing not to mention painful nights of my life. I WANT MORE

"I sorted him for you love"
It was New Years Eve about 3 years ago, myself, my now wife, best mate and about 15 other family members went for a quiet one at our local Working Mens Club. I WANT MORE

"At the end of the day, you've drank my piss"
This is a story which may make your stomach churn, and the names have been changed as not to offend. I went to Preston University and lived in a house of eight with four lads and four girls. I WANT MORE

Twocking
Throughout our three years at university in Liverpool there seemed to be something about the 12th of January which turned my flatmates and me into unadulterated hooligans. Copious amounts of lager probably had something to with it. I WANT MORE

Electrical Night Out
Having worked in one of Bradford's Wine Bars until 11.00pm it was a regular occurrence for all the staff to go out to a club together. As was usually the case large quantities of beer were consumed in the 3 hours that remained before the bars close. I WANT MORE

Strip Club
We emerged from a restaurant in Soho one night and saw a sign on the strip club over the road: "Entry only £5!" I WANT MORE

Pissy Chips
After a drunken night out in Leamington Spa me and some friends were in a kebab shop when one (who shall remain nameless) thought it would be hilarious if we could get in the back of the shop and piss on the potatoes. I WANT MORE